This is how I spent this past Sunday. Insert “I’m a Lumberjack and I’m okay …” song lyric here you, drama club Monty Python-quoting asstown.

It’s spelled M-A-U-L:

Split, stacked wood is pretty:

Some logs have pretty colors inside (also known as rot):

In Georgia, there are two types of houses: Houses that have termites, and houses that are about to have termites. A homo … ner must be vigilant to ensure that there is never any wood touching the ground lest it be eaten by those French Canadian sawbike lumberjack termites from the Tom & Jerry cartoons. My solution for the woodpiles was iron pipe through cinder blocks:

I made two of the racks pictured above. Each one is ten feet long and I stacked wood on each to about eye level. All told it’s about three cords. After filling both racks, I still had a good amount of wood left to split, but not enough to fill another rack, and those iron pipes ain’t free. So I decided to incorporate a technique I read about here. Obviously, my Holz Hausen will be a little different. A pile 10 feet wide and 10 feet tall is about 6 cords of wood. That’s enough wood to feed all of Russia, if Russians ate wood. Also, I needed to come up with a way to keep my Hausen off the ground. My solution:

I found these blocks in a part of my yard I didn’t even know I had until Sunday. Actually, it might not even be my yard, but they were closer to my house than any of the other houses nearby, so I made the obvious decision: I claimed them in the name of my face and stacked firewood on them. The first row:

After a couple more rows:

With wood babies nestled in their wood womb:

Finished product (aka – what it looked like after I ran out of wood):

So now I have more firewood than anyone in Georgia should. Most of it is Poplar, though, which only has slightly more BTU’s than Pine, but only slightly less than Aspen, Maple, and Birch. So once it is seasoned (next winter), we’ll probably go through it pretty quickly. Someday I hope to have a fireplace in every room and a fire burning every day (you know, for those chilly Georgia August afternoons). Someday my house will look like this:

But for now, I will have to settle for this:

The End.