in Antics

Anatomy of your new favorite sandwich

July, 2001 – Somewhere speeding through the scorching desert of Arizona, or New Mexico, or Southern Colorado, a young man grew restless. This restlessness had grown from the seeds of endless Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches with tortilla chips. The goal of saving time and money by eating sandwiches in the van instead of stopping for meals had long been accomplished. Something had to give. There had to be a better way. From this combination of swirling desperation and 115° heat, a new sandwich was born and has thrived ever since. Behold.

Step 1: Place two slices of Sprouted Grain bread on a plate. Place a jar of peanut butter and a bottle of hot sauce behind the plate. Take a picture.

Step 2: Make a sandwich.

Step 3: Let me do it.

Step 4: Garnish!

Critical comments posted by people who have never tried the above stroke of geniosity will be met with deserved ridicule and then forwarded to Brazilian death squads. Basically, eat peanut butter and hot sauce sandwiches or die like a dog in the street.


  1. Franks makes everything better. My only change would have been to use Jiff x-tra chunky instead of that hippy organic crap. I have also found that a couple of slices of bacon makes an even better peanut butter and franks sandwich.

  2. Ben and I read this together and he said “Is Tony pregnant?”

  3. OK, so we don’t have any bread in the house. But I tried some peanut butter with hot sauce and I can report that I didn’t explode. It had an interesting taste, and if Skippy were to offer “Xtra Spicy Peanut Butter”, I would buy it.

    As long as it were creamy. That chunky shit can bite my ass.

  4. Well, I assume that since I enjoy spicy boiled peanuts, I’d probably like this, too. I’ve never been one averse to trying new things. Hmmm… but I’ll have to go with some Crystal’s Hot Sauce. Yumm.

  5. That’s fantastic. Glad to see you’re taking care of yourself appropriately.

    You can cram that pickle up yer ass, tho’. Pickles have no place anywhere at any time for anything. They are anathema to the human race.

  6. “bad naked”

    That pickle jar struggle could be a paused frame of a seinfeld episode (minus-the-clothes) on my tivo series I which doesn’t recognize daylight savings time! Who the hell is making money off of this daylight saving time change?!?!

    Greetings, SHMIMON. Pass the matzah!


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